The last 10 weeks of lockdown has been full of mixed feelings and emotions for so many of us. Old, young, male, female, career driven, family focused, whoever you are, I am certain that lockdown has affected you in one way or another.
For me, I have experienced massive highs, incredible lows and just about everything in-between.
I have spoken to friends who have found many positives in the lockdown, they talked about being in a place of chaos and busyness that they couldn't see an end too. The lockdown was somewhat of a welcomed pause that has created space for them to restore themselves.
Of course, this hasn't been the case for everyone, and I very much include myself in this.
If you don't already know me, I am your classic serial "hugger" and complete social butterfly. The lockdown has made me feel isolated from a life that I was super content with. I love to listen to people's stories, find out about their lives, ask questions and share my zest for life.
I have a genuine love for people. I enjoy spending time with my friends, my family, my lovely yoga students and strangers I meet as I go about my days.
So, instead of my normal life, I, like others, suddenly found myself in quite an odd situation. I had to stop teaching yoga, the one thing that I absolutely adore, no more social meetings with friends, no more school run and no more green tea in my beloved local coffee shop. Being told to stay home felt completely alien to me. Although I have a beautiful home and a beautiful family, for me, my world had completely changed and I had no idea how to deal with it. My comfort blanket had been taken away and I felt exposed to the elements.
Originally, I thought I would teach yoga classes online, but somewhere in the daily changes that were happening in the world and also my life I lost all confidence and decided to take a step back. I was utterly devastated.
To say I had a fair few meltdowns is somewhat of an understatement. I began very quickly to realise things about myself that came as a bit of a shock to me.
Firstly, homeschooling is not for me! Both my girls aged 12 and 5 would say exactly the same. I have no patience, a lack of knowledge on fractions and an even bigger lack of knowledge on phonics.
Secondly, I never knew I needed outdoor space so much. I began to crave nature, trees, clouds, the wind, the sun, the rain, the feeling of air on my skin, the fresh air in my lungs and walking. I wanted to walk for miles. I wanted to take in everything around me. Almost like I was seeing it, smelling it and noticing the beauty for the first time.
Instead of nurturing my friends, I nurtured seedlings, I watched them germinate, grow, become stronger and now I am beginning to see some beautiful fruit, vegetables, herbs and flowers.
I have had time to sit and watch films with my girls, play games, fill the swimming pool up more times than I care to remember, spend time with my lovely dogs, happy hens and carefree tortoise.
I have walked for miles each day, listened to music, listened to podcasts, read books, trained online, watched classic films, cooked glorious food, baked, tidied, cleaned, sorted out clothes, decorated rooms and an endless amount of gardening.
It wasn't until I had to arrange an online zoom class for my children's yoga teacher training that I realized I could teach online. The children were amazing and I felt my confidence resurface.
Who would have thought that some little faces staring back at me, hanging onto every word I said would make me feel like I could embrace this world of online teaching. What felt like such a huge mountain at the start of the lockdown suddenly felt like a transition I could do, and that I could do well.
My decision was made, You Yoga was born and I felt ready for an adventure that I was about to create for myself. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but after looking back on my achievements over the last few years, how could I not spread my wings, shine my own light and fly somewhere new.
After my 200 hour teacher training at Bristol School of Yoga where I graduated as a fully qualified Hatha yoga teacher in September 2019, I had then gone on to qualify in Restorative yoga in November 2019, Yoga Nidra in March 2020 and Children's Yoga in May 2020.
So, during lockdown, what have I learnt?
I have learnt that although life can sometimes feel overwhelmingly different and like it's changing or situations are ending, this can also mean that life is simply evolving.
By changing the way I look at situations and changing the language I use, I have learnt that actually my life is evolving. We are all evolving, we are forever on a journey of our own self discovery.
For some people this can happen quite quickly, and for others like me, it takes a little more time to adjust to certain situations before I feel ready to embrace them. This is perfectly okay.
I can now see that for me lockdown has been a time for hibernation. I have had the time to pause and notice the small things that have become important to me. A new bud on a plant, the way the sun shines through the trees and the way the rain feels on my skin. I have evolved, I will continue to do so and I am transforming to a better more confident version of myself. I will always be a work in progress, but this is who I am.
And, I am hugely proud of this!
I am ready to spread my wings and immerse myself in my achievements.
Taking a leap of faith takes courage, determination and the ability to know you are capable.
What have you learnt during lockdown?
Are you ready to immerse yourself in you?
I want you to know that you are capable too.
I hope you enjoy my new website.
I would love to see your happy faces in my online classes and hopefully soon in person where we can practice yoga together in the same room, feeling the amazing energy that we so beautifully create.
Much love Zara xx
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